Friday, May 22, 2009

Trusting People You've Never Met

If you haven't read my previous post, this one might not make sense, so go ahead and do that first. I'll wait.

OK, done?

I had a few thoughts on my ER experience that I haven't gotten down yet. It all starts with a little OT reference (that's Old Testament, if you're wondering).

Abraham and Sarah couldn't have kids, but God promised Abraham crazy seed. Finally, when Sarah was way too old to have a kid, she did. This seemed to be a one time shot. Along came Isaac. He was probably spoiled.

Then one day, God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on an alter. Abraham (who was a transitional character, having run away from his native culture of human sacrifice in revolt and converting to what would later become Judism) OBEYS! Can you believe it? How could he? Wouldn't this be just about the only thing that even the most faithful prophet would refuse to do?

To set the record straight, God stops Abraham just before plunging the knife, and the story just illustrates Abraham's complete faith, trust, and obedience.

I once heard it explained that Abraham understood God's power to raise the dead, and may have cited this particular faith, trusting that God would keep his word that Abraham would have seed like the sands of the earth, and therefore reinstate Isaac. That seemed pretty plausible to me.

Fast forward some thousands of years to me in the ER. Some doctor I've never met wants to give me a drug to stop my heart. He tells me, "No worries, I can get it going again."

Somehow, I say, "OK, Doc. If you think that's best!"

In Sunday school lessons, Abraham's faith seems to be a marvelous mystery. But does an act like that require only as much faith as I had in this stranger?


Added 5/31/09

I have now talked to Nick about the above thoughts, and solved my dilemma.  The situations are not so similar.  The big difference we found is that I trusted the drug given to me by the doctor to have been delivered successfully many times in the past.  For Abraham, his case was a first, as far as he knew.  I trusted that I would fare like the majority, he had faith that God would make him an outlier.

Friday, May 15, 2009

My turn for drama

This post may get long, but if you haven't heard the story yet, I think you'll find it interesting. Nick got to have his little ordeal recently, so I guess I didn't want to be out-done.

Wednesday night, I left Rigby asleep at my friend's home and went to Costco with Bethelle. I did not do anything to over-exert myself or to stress myself out, but as I began to drive back to my friend's house, I felt warm and flushed, short of breath, and like my pulse was racing. I gave myself a moment for this "fluke" to pass, but it would not. I began to be concerned, not so much for myself, but for my cute little four year-old in the backseat in case I passed out or something. I was in a new town (still in TX...) in a borrowed car, and I thought I had better call someone so they would know to worry about us. My phone was almost dead. I tried Nick, no answer, so I called my mom. I said, "Mom, my battery is about to die. Let me just tell you quickly that I am driving alone with Bethelle, I am pulled over, and I'm not feeling good..." Then the phone ran out of power and the call ended. I thought, "Great, I just freaked her out without giving her any information."

The feeling still was not passing, so I tried to feel my pulse, but I thought I must be doing something wrong because it was so fast and sporatic. I was in an empty church parking lot, so I decided to drive somewhere more populated so that there would at least be the possibility of a witness to my loosing conciousness. I went just a bit further and came to a mall, which was closing. I wanted a pay phone to call my mom again, but I didn't think I had the strength to try the mall and have no phone inside that door or have it locked for the night. I continued to drive and came to a movie theater! People! Witnesses! My discomfort was getting worse. I was lucky and parked very close to the entrance to the theater. I got Bethelle and my purse and headed for the door. I made it about one car length and almost collapsed; my muscles would not power my body. I was soooo worried about Bethelle. What would she do? How would she feel? Where would she go? Who would find her?

I grabbed onto a sign post for a minute or two to regroup, which was pretty ineffective. I just had a drive to cross with a small median in the middle, so I set my sites on that median. I cannot adequately describe how hard it was to make it there. As I was crossing, two men came out of the theater. I called to them with the little breath I had and told them how I was feeling and do they think they could help me to a pay phone? One immediately called 911 and the other began to comfort my little trooper, Bethelle. They sat me down and took very good care of me then asked if there was anyone else they could call. Oh, yes, my poor mother must be going crazy since my last call. They talked to her and had her try to call Nick.

This is already so long, I'll try to summarize better. I took my first ambulance ride. Bethelle seemed to enjoy it. Everyone was so good to her. The paramedics were fantastic, but unable to do some of the things that they normally would without approval due to me being six months pregnant. I was taken to the ER and was told I was in SVT. My heart rate was in the 180's (beats per minute) and peaked at 211. I did not know that hearts could do this. A few mild methods were tried to reduce this, but without effect, so I was given a very potent drug in my IV. It is designed to STOP the heart and must be followed (3 seconds later, in my case) with the antidote. They told me I would feel very strange, but that it would only last 10 seconds or less and to try to be calm about it.

My friend, Meagan, had arrived by this time and Nick had been contacted and well informed. Meagan and Bethelle were taken from my room while they gave me the drug. There must have been eight nurses and doctors with me as it was given and they were all quite sober and organized, counting and doing their parts. When the drug hit my system, my ability to breathe was basically turned off. I was fully mentally aware, but I could do nothing by my own power to sustain my life. The feeling was brief, but so intense. I was completely helpless. Then the antidote hit and I was restored. Completely. I felt totally normal again. All symptoms were gone except for a shakiness due to the stress of it all. They kept me for a short time to observe me and then sent me on my way. What an ordeal. I have never had anything like this before, but was told that it is rarely an isolated incident and will probably happen again sometime.

It is now 48 hours later and I am feeling perfectly normal. It is strange to think that I had my heart stopped so recently. I feel no effects of it. The baby did very well through the whole thing, and Bethelle was a superstar. I have a few more thoughts I may share later on all this. I just thought that you might like to know and that I should document this adventure. I hope to have a much less exciting life for the next few months.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day... far away

I am still in Dallas, which means that I was here for my anniversary yesterday (Nick is in WA...) and now for Mother's Day.  I am glad to have my children with me on Mother's Day, but I missed the pampering and freedom from quotidian duties.  Hey Nick, maybe we an schedule a Mother's Day when I get home...

The kids were a particular handful in church today.  I was in and out and doing damage control through most of sacrament meeting.  At the end, the youth passed out some little bags of cookies and a poem to all the mothers.  The 10 year-old behind me said to her little brother, "That ain't fair.  I can't wait 'til I'm a mom."  Yeah.  The yearly cookies make 52 crazy sacrament meetings worth every moment.

Let me just clarify that I would not be pregnant right now if I did not enjoy being a mother.  I just found the comment behind me pretty ironic.

I stole this little quiz from a friend's blog.  Here are Bethelle's answers.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
I love you.

2. What makes mom happy?
When I give you rainbow hearts.  That means I love you so much.

3. What makes mom sad?
Not obeying.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
By tickling me.  You always have to do it softly!

5. What was mommy like as a little girl?
Like Jesus.

6. How old is your mom?
I don't know...  I still don't know.

7. How tall is your mom?
(reaches as high as she can... it's not that high)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Play with Bethelle.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Work hard.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Singing (pronounced "seen-een").

11. What is your mom really good at?
Cooking.  And she's good at doing my hair too.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
I don't know.  I just don't know.

13. What does your mom do for a job?
Well, work hard in the house.

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Beans (I think she means pea pods.  mmm.), peaches, oranges.

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
I love her.  She loves me.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Cinderella, like me.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Work hard together.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Watch TV that's like you and me.  We both like to look like a princess.

19. How are you and your mom different?
You comb hair and I don't comb hair because I'm still small.

20. How do you know that your mom loves you?
I just know.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
He loves you.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Go shopping.  Like at Target.  Target and Costco, because I get popcorn at Target and snacks at Costco.

Monday, May 4, 2009


Over the course of about 4 days, I thought I might like to go on a trip and then flew to Dallas with the kids.  Nick and I decided that getting the three of us out of the house was the only way to finish up the final projects that the house needs in order to be listed with a realtor.  He has already buttoned up a little project in the kitchen, installed a counter and sink in the laundry room, put up a backspash in the family bathroom, and put shelves in my linen closet!  I am ecstatic.  Who knew that shelves could be sooo exciting?  Thanks, Paul, for the help!

Nick is taking several days off to get this all done.  As added incentive, we decided I would get one-way tickets.  I am just waiting for the signal to come back home.  Nick says that this really does give him extra motivation.  It's not easy to live in a big house by yourself.